So its been almost a month since my last post and I finally have good news.

Its been in the 50’s in Austin, very strange but im lovin it! Overcast skies and rainy weather with shivering mornings that make you not want to get up because its so chilly you just have to stay cozy under the blankets a little longer.

Great weather for late night walks with Larsen.  Walking with your partner is so therapeutic and great for communicating.  I think when sitting and talking conversation becomes stagnant, and apprehensions tend to take hold.  When you are walking, its almost like your ideas flow with you, and communication becomes so much easier.

AND…..I got a job!!!  Thanks to my buddy Alan, he got me a job at East Side Pies, where all the east side punks work.  I can actually go to work looking and being myself!

So happy =D

Texas. It rained the other day, pathetically.  But the smell was nostalgic enough.  There’s no smell like it.  The stench that covers this city- a dry and unbearable one- was transformed instantly into a fresh wet one, the heat washed away, even if it was only for minutes. Hopes for day long earth shattering thunderstorms is a dream Texas will never know….

I decided to stay in Texas with Larsen.  Actually he asked me to stay, and I decided to stay to be emotionally supportive while he finished his last semester at St Eds.  I am happy to do this, but wish it was any other place than Texas. I will be starting massage school in Gainesville this January, and we will move there together in December. 

I feel like im cursed here.  I cant find work.  I have been looking for months. I have been on countless interviews, all which went well in my mind.  But still my phone remains silent, no call backs, and my pockets remain empty.  I have never been so broke in my life.  Brutti tempi, hard times. When  I look around, everything seems to be dying. People sit in sadness, their woes hang above them like cartoon bubbles- and I cant help but join in. Shit sucks, and I envy those who have class privilege, supportive parents who aren’t filing for bankruptcy, savings accounts, trust funds, and a life without worry. 

Taco is with me, and is a happy bird like usual.  He loves Larsen.

I just keep looking foward to this winter.  I cant find a sense of home here.  I feel like a fish out of water.  A swamp creature thats been re-located in the desert.

I miss my real home, the ecology of Florida, and the long days with thunderstorms.

I faced a big fear of mine yesturday. Heights.
I hiked up a fjord! This one— http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prekestolen
it took 4 hours and was the hardest thing i have ever done.  as i stood on the edge of Prekestolen (Pulpit Rock) I was overcome with emotion and my fears dissapated beneath me.  the clouds surrounded us because we were so high up and I have never been so high. Who needs drugs when you have these personal accomplishments and fears to overcome?
The nature going up was surreal and it was so life changing…i felt so close to the goddess of nature, the only god i really believe in besides my own god.  I felt transcendent. Many people go to this rock to overcome challenges, and to jump off when they want to die.  Larsen and I obviously did not jump off, but the thought freaked us out! 
We accomplished so much just with the hike, and sharing the experience with eachother, it was really moving and emotional. 
Its nice to be with someone who values and appreciates nature as much as I do.
I feel like I have never felt before.

 On a sadder note….
Last night Øyvind had to slaughter a rooster that was giving problems to the flock (there were too many) and Larsen  and I decided to watch so we know what to do when we have our own chickens. I  felt really bad for him, but I guess he would have just caused more death to the hens and it was for the greater good of the flock.  Bah!  You cant really give away roosters because no one wants them, usually they have too many already.  We will use its body for a soup broth.  It was strange witnessing this as a vegan/vegetarian, but I am learning a lot about nature and the natural process of things. If anyone has questions about this process or how the ordeal went, feel free to ask. 
 
We leave for Italy Wednesday….I cant wait!

I have no idea where to begin!! what a journey!! 
We got to Norway and had to trek across the whole entire country practically!!  But what views!  If it wasnt for the crazy winters, I might never come back.  Its beautiful!!!
We didnt get into Øyvinds house (the guy we are farming with) until 24:00 practically and we had to search through the woods for it! It was kinda scary but so much fun! We had flashlights and we were in the middle of nowhere! 
He welcomed us and gave us herb tea with fresh herbs he had picked in the woods that day!  We all sat up late talking about gardening and plants and living in the wild.  He is the perfect host, and gave us a lovely room with wool blankets from the sheep close by! 
The next morning we awoke to  a note from him saying he was building a fence in the garden and to come find him….we found him literrally treking through the woods with sticks of wood he had cut down to build the fence! He gave us a tour of the garden to show us what he was growing, how he practices his methods, traditonal of course….then he showed us the chickens!!  Baby ones too!!  

The next day was our first work day.  My first duty was to feed the 5 day old baby chickens!! 
We awoke at around 10ish and walked into the woods on the mountains to collect branches and sticks to build a structure for the peas to grow up.  We used saws and axes, and it felt great to be outdoors. The scenery is like a movie, similar to Lord of the Rings, it is indescribable! We ate fresh herbs growing on the mountains and he told us about them, where they came from, what they are used for….
Then we carried the goods back to the garden and constructed the structure for the peas and it looked really awesome…i felt so satisfied having made something with my hands and from nature…NO HOME DEPOT! ha! Then we sewed the peas and picked fresh herbs, danilion greens, dandilion flowers , and garlic from the nature around for our lunch.  we ate fresh bread that Øyvind had baked the night before, with butter and herbs and cheese on top.  A salad with fresh herbs and flowers from the wild, homemade dressing i made and leftover pasta i made last night.  Then we had tea!  
The weather was superb, it rained a bit but was absolutely beautiful as we watched it come in from the fjords on the sea, and pass over the hill we stood on!

yesterday we rode our bikes to the sea…it was a 20 mile ride around lakes and up mountains and it was so strenuous…a real challenge! I felt so accomplished having done it. we saw so much nature! I saw a swans nest!! and the swan hissed at us over her giant egg that she was protecting! we also saw sheep, squirrels ( different than ours and way cuter), and deer.  We went to the sea to plant potatoes– basically guerrilla gardening by the sea! we used the seaweed as compost mulch and covered them. Then we hung out with the sheep that grazed about, and Øyvind showed us this old grave  made of stones that you had to crawl into, but it was so awesome…like an old viking hide-a-away!!

Honestly words can not describe.  Maybe once I get a chance to put pictures up it will help.
I dont know what else to say but that i feel really healthy and im happy to have this experience!!

Off for another days work in the garden!

Fucken eh!

This blog shit is too time consuming sometimes….
Ok quick update!

Go into England last week….went straight to Minehead ( crop circle country where the darkest wizards live)
Three day fest to see Electric Wizard and Sleep- fuckin surreal
Electric Wizard was amazing, even with two days of no sleep on our shoulders.  They progressively got louder as they played.  They were so in sync with each other, and blew our minds away. Out of the two, I felt Electric Wizard played better.  Then Sleep played twice, not once BUT TWICE! Dopesmoker and Holy Mountain!  They were so loud that they made me want to vomit.  I was told that the frequency they used was illegal, lower than the frequency riot police uses!  It literally threw me into a minor depression because of the loudness…..second night i had a better spot (not so close to the amps) and enjoyed it even more.  I still cant believe I saw Sleep.

After the fest we had to head to London.  Luckily we met some vegan bike polo kids who graciously gave us a spot in their house in east London. It totally beat our previous plan which was to sleep in the nearest park.  So we have been here in London, eating healthy foods, and resting from our three days of evil debauchery.  Shout out goes to Jack from NY who is da shit.

Tomorrow we go to Oslo, Norway for a night to stay at a crust squat we heard about that some kids are fixing up to make into proper home. Then we go to Stavanger, Norway to work on a farm with this guy named Oyvind…yes his name is OYVIND! We are very excited to be farming again!!

Then we go to Bergamo Italy, where I lived for over a year.

Thats it for now…
PS- London is fuckin whack. Way too big and confusing, too much city for us… The bike scene here is huge but i cant believe people have the balls to ride on these crazy ass streets.  I have never seen anything like it.  All the kids we are staying with are messengers, and fuckin CRAZY for riding in these conditions! I guess im just spoiled with the calm streets of Gville….major props to our new bike friends!Pictures to come up when i get back in the states…

out!

feels good to be moving again.
out of routine life, everyday a new adventure.
dis i need

So I am in Baton Rouge now with my buddies. 
Saw Hellkontroll’s last show for awhile, and it was fuckin sick.  There is a reason why this band makes music and they need to keep making it.
420 show was ill as fuck.  Smoked out punk apocolyptic show at an abandoned apartment with nothing but a haze of humid sweat and healthy aggression being released. It was Sodamaria, My Fist Your Face, American Cheeseburger, We Need to Talk, and Firing Sqaud. 
Tonight we see Mike Watt from the Minutemen play..VERY excited about that.  Who would have thought Id ever get to see Mike Watt play…

Tomorrow morning I leave for Texas, stay there for a hot mintue then im off to Europe with Larsen. 
London, Whales, Norway, Germany, Amsterdam, France, Italy….and more
Bands to see: Electric Wizard, Sleep, Witchcraft, Devo, Harvey Milk, Grails, and much much more!

Stay tuned for updates from our adventure across Europe and into the heavy darkworld that is Norway. Will we come out alive? I sure hope not.

time elapses by and I don’t notice until its already gone.
when you find yourself in a good place thats how it goes.
you notice life, its blossoming vibrant inhale/exhale.

i have become a regular bird watcher.
I notice so much now, i feel like it awakens me to my surroundings.
My new friends are; the barred owl that lives above my house, he comes out at least twice a week to have a starring contest, as we sit in admiration of each other.
the cardinals that flutter from branch to branch, always in couples, reminding me that love can exist and what im feeling isn’t trivial nonsense, but what i have had in the past has been.
the blue herons that i see on my bike rides down the Hawthorn trail…
the red winged blackbirds, the males, have a call that reminds me of where i grew up, here in the swamp lands of Florida. we share that, him and I, as we sat and watched them.
the mocking birds and the crows that constantly bicker,and never seem to find common interest and agree to disagree.
and of course my own bird, Taco, who is the most beautiful Sun Conure and awakens me daily with kisses and an offering to the sun gods through dance and song.

If we come back as something, if re-incarnation is real…i want to come back as a bird.

….is what i need right now. i hibernate away, watching the overcast misty afternoon, windows open, PJ Harvey’s White Chalk album playing. i embrace darkness, an acceptance of all that is good and all that is evil, then do a reversal of the dualities and call it a day. I embrace darkness. i basque in it.  im happy and screaming with ecstasy and all i want to do is marinate in it and make it last.  the shadows on my wall do a dance with the light as it reflects the branches that hover outside my window..i like Florida, a lot.  specifically Gainesville.  its so gorgeous.  i wake up and fall asleep to the sounds of birds instead of cars honking. i live on a compound with friends and feel inspired daily.  but right now all i want is solitude.  silence.

Ok so getting sick really put a damper on my trip, but there were some good things that came out of it. 

Getting sick allowed me to spend more time in Austin Texas, a fantastic city which much to offer in forms of activism and community building.  The Rhizome Collective, The Yellow Bike Project, plenty of vegan eateries and places that will dish out free rice after certain times…dumpstered good foods too.  “the drag” a place to busk for monies and play music for yuppie change…its rad.  Good punx shows and nice punx who show amazing hospitality…Special shout out goes to Dan and Larsen, my new favorite people. We have climbed cliffs, roamed parks, trotted through streams, collected rocks, and i think i have seen enough of this city. 
As much as I like Austin there are a couple things I dont like:

It hardly ever rains, and I enjoy a good rainy day.  Maybe im just spoiled in Florida, but sunny all the time weather really gets to me.  Its like one big lie! Everything isnt yuppie all the time goddamn it!!  Yeah its sunny in Florida, but those afternooon thunderstorms is where its at!
Furthermore, there are so many hills.  Something im also not used to, but could learn to like.  Although, I couldnt see riding a fixed gear as being practical.  I would have to opt for something geared for sure. 
Texans suck. nuff said.  (but the punx here rock)
I feel like im stuck in a big state in the only cool city for miles and miles……

I decided to part ways with Stephanie. She went to New Mexico, and Im headed to NOLA for Mardi Gras to make some money before headed back through the south to Florida.  I decided to not head west where its cold as fuck because my immune system is really low and im still re-covering from pneumonia. Im really bummed though.  I really wanted to see the canyons and the ecology of the southwest.  I really wanted to be in Tuscon for the EF! rondy, but im going to head back to Gville and work some more, then take off for a longer trip. 

Current plans: Head to NOLA this weekend- will be staying at Termite and Vine, home for lost grrlz and boyz =D
Future trip plans:  MAY, go to London to see Sleep and Electric Wizard  (dream come true??) and hitch EUROPE, checking out viking country ( Norway, Sweeden, Denmark) then making my way south to find work, utilizing my language skillz.

So I got 3 months or so to make some money in Gville, work on my new bike set-up, plant my spring garden and plan my trip to Europe.  Lots of exciting things to do!!

I wanna know what my friends are doing too….comment with your plans, whereabouts, thoughts…..and maybe we can meet up along our travels.  If anyone actually reads this thing…..