Texas. It rained the other day, pathetically. But the smell was nostalgic enough. There’s no smell like it. The stench that covers this city- a dry and unbearable one- was transformed instantly into a fresh wet one, the heat washed away, even if it was only for minutes. Hopes for day long earth shattering thunderstorms is a dream Texas will never know….
I decided to stay in Texas with Larsen. Actually he asked me to stay, and I decided to stay to be emotionally supportive while he finished his last semester at St Eds. I am happy to do this, but wish it was any other place than Texas. I will be starting massage school in Gainesville this January, and we will move there together in December.
I feel like im cursed here. I cant find work. I have been looking for months. I have been on countless interviews, all which went well in my mind. But still my phone remains silent, no call backs, and my pockets remain empty. I have never been so broke in my life. Brutti tempi, hard times. When I look around, everything seems to be dying. People sit in sadness, their woes hang above them like cartoon bubbles- and I cant help but join in. Shit sucks, and I envy those who have class privilege, supportive parents who aren’t filing for bankruptcy, savings accounts, trust funds, and a life without worry.
Taco is with me, and is a happy bird like usual. He loves Larsen.
I just keep looking foward to this winter. I cant find a sense of home here. I feel like a fish out of water. A swamp creature thats been re-located in the desert.
I miss my real home, the ecology of Florida, and the long days with thunderstorms.
